Hey you,
How have you been?
If your past six days have been anything like mine that means a lot of unexpected things happened.
I hope they were good things though.
One highlight of the past week was the visit of my friend. Let’s call her Baybee.
Baybee loves having a good time and so she insisted that we go out.
I didn’t want to at first. I’m someone who can sit on a spot for hours without moving.
It could be a good or bad thing but I don’t think much of that.
Baybee is quite persuasive and she won me over (real life salesmanship yeah? Eye wink ).
We ended up at this restaurant. Great ambience. Soft music playing in the background. Lights were adjusted to set the mood for a good time.
It only got more beautiful the further we walked in.
But my heart was beating faster and faster. And I felt like bolting for the exit.
The only reason I kept walking was because Baybee was holding my hand.
I cleared my throat more than once to gain her attention. I wanted us to leave because I felt the bill was going to be outrageous.
You see, in Abuja, we pay more for the location of a restaurant than for the meal itself.
Despite the alarm bells which had gone off in my head, Baybee and I sat down.
Our menus came, we made our orders. Turns out that we were capable of paying the bills.
But this made me think of my self image and self image in general.
Self-image is strongly tied to what we believe we can do and what we allow ourselves to do.
For example, if I see myself as someone who can never get slim because I have ‘fat genes’ then I’ll never actively work towards losing weight.
Or like in the restaurant story, I saw myself as unable to pay the bills so I wanted to run away.
James Clear in his book Atomic Habits explains that our habits are tied to the image we have of ourselves.
In essence, we do things because we believe that is who we are.
That is why someone might start defining themselves by saying “My type of person…”
Our habits define and strengthen our self-image and our self-image sponsors our habits.
It is a never ending loop until you decide to break it.
To break it means doing things we aren’t used to and getting used to it - in essence forming new habits helps us redefine the identity we have of ourselves.
So, if I want to see myself as a fitness freak, I’d have to create a routine where I go to the gym often and work out.
The more I do this, the more my self-image as a fitness enthusiast is shaped.
If I keep on doing this for six months, when I’m asked to introduce myself, fitness will be at the top of the list.
Now, this can be applied to other scenarios in life.
If you want to change your self image from A to B, then you have to unlearn habits that connect with A and build habits that connect with B.
In James Clear words “Progress requires unlearning.”
For marketing, I compared Zinoleesky’s Naira Marley to email marketing.
If you’re interested in what the thought process was like, you can read all about it here.
I added new songs to my playlist - Sunshine Reggae by Laid Back, Nwanem Ebezina by Chief Stephen Osita Osadebe, Trampoline by Shaed & Zayn and Hold Me While You Wait by Lewis Capaldi.
They are all good songs. Some have great lyrics, some have great beats and some just have a catchy chorus with good backup singers.
Anyway, I’m jamming to them in no particular order.
I also binge-watched Sex/Life.
I had started watching it sometime last year but stopped because of the negative reviews.
I started again during the weekend and wanted to see for myself the atrociousness of the show.
If you’re interested in seeing what a suburban quarter-life crisis looks like, then give Sex/Life a chance.
It’s on Netflix.
I enjoy having you here. I like that you’re reading this letter. I hope that you enjoy it. Writing this letter to you is one highlight of my week. So write back (by clicking on reply) with your suggestions (I’ll take them), ask me questions, I’ll answer ASAP.
Remember to share this newsletter with friends and invite them to join.
Remain soft.